| Hurrican Katrina....bitch... |
[03 Oct 2005|12:14pm] |
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jessica singing a k-9 advantics commercial *it was lovely* |
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School started back today. We have the same schedual.....we have the same hours....so far its the same boring crap I had before the damn hurricane hit!!!!!!! Ahhhhhh so I'm in third now....lunch is about to start and then i only have thirty more min. until I get to head outtt yay! So yeah the cards *this thing i do that asks cards (or a higher power) questions* It told me I was ugly. It said Laura was hotter than me which is true but you know HARSH right.
I am living with my friend Laura. She and her family adopted me and I am ganna stay with them until my house is all done. Its funn being there and having sisters....the only thing I miss is my own room....then when I leave and have my own room...I'm ganna miss havin sisters. I got my parking decale today....and i have no car =\ spot 177....not as close as i should have gotten but closer than I have been.
I got a web cam which just screams whore. I am ganna get to have the computer in my room *most likely* I am ganna have a new floor and a new bed....which was really needed.
Well Nothing new has really happened...you know except for that huge hurricane that wiped out my city and the sournding cities...and we now have no lives....but other than that I'm alive so yeah go me.
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[27 Aug 2005|12:34am] |
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Briused -Jacks Mannequin |
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So now that I have run out of options. And my attempts to kill myself are stupid and hopeless because I do care about the few people I still do have left. I am ganna just try to heal myself. I don't know how I'm ganna do it...and I know this drugs method isn't really the answer...I am ganna try to focus more on myself. I guess I'm just ganna have to put up with hurting a few people. I'm not even sure if I'm really ganna hurt anyone at all really. I'm high right now so maybe everything I write here is bullshit but it makes me feel better for the moment. I am ganna talk to only the people I know care about me. Amber is one. Morgan I sometimes feel like does but I'm not really sure most of the time. Laura sometimes care but she is really to rad for me. She is one of a kind thats for sure. Must be why we are drown to eachother ha. I use to be like her. I need to get back to my old self. I was about to give on up on highschool...again for a second damn time. I know one year must be worth it though. I probably won't go to college but thats not really what I want to do. I want to travel all over the world. Thats what I truely really want to do. I know there has to be more out there than this hell I've been stuck in. Even if its worse than here (*which i don't think is possible*) I want to see everything I can. Maybe its the only way I'm ever really ganna find someone who will stay with me. Or maybe its the only way I can find someone I want to stay with and won't push away from me. I've relized that that must be my problem. All this time I've kind of blamed guys and everything but I think the real problem is me. I jsut don't know it. I'm not sure but thats what im really starting to think. So I'm ganna change that too. My first step will definatnly be getting out of here. I have to finish highschool for that and that is ganna take a year. Or maybe even a year and a half since ive aready manged to fuck things up with in the first three weeks =\
Or maybe I just need to get high more often ha.
I don't know...but I know I will change and I will get out of Mississippi and I will never ever ever come back.
I will be happy again =) and I will get back everyone...that I love and ever have loved....well most everyone.
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[22 Aug 2005|05:25pm] |
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I wish I still had my brother. I wish he still actually cared. I don't want to be alone anymore. I lied when I said I hate people...I lied when I said I don't want anyone to care. The thing is I really need at least someone to really care. I so scared. I don't want to die alone. I want my life back but no one wants me back in their life.
I'm leaving. I've already decided its all I can do. I guess I have to live here for another year. I'm not lucky enough to die so soon anyways. Luck was never really on my side. I get in horrible accidents and always get through them because of the fact I want to die. Sounds horrible I know...and I wish it really weren't true but it is. I don't even get hurt...
Why did Ashely have to leave me and go spend a year in Nevada. She was where my life went wrong. I was like her pet really. She kept me safe and sheltered from the world. when she left it threw me out into the world suddenly alone. I've had to try to over come all my problems...and I failed. I got braver but I messed up somewhere and screwed my life up. I am sorry. I am so sorry to everyone I've hurt...I should have been a better friend and I'm sorry.
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| Die already |
[21 Aug 2005|05:56pm] |
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fuck...thats what i am. |
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Have I mentioned how much I suck today....yeah well ima say it again. I hate this feeling. I WANT IT TO GO AWAY!! I want you to go away....no come back...errrrrr or get out of my head...........GOD IM STUPID AND ERRRRRRRR....really really shitty mood.....
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| LIFE sucks MOTHER *bad word* =( |
[21 Aug 2005|05:19pm] |
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 lets die and be happy |
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music |
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random shit playin in my head... |
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Life sucks mother fucker...get over it..........AHH IM TALKING TO MYSELF AGAIN. errrr anyways yeah still just sitting around sucking big fucking balls because im such a god damn loser and aahh wanna dieeeee.....and I did bad things this weekend...i have no luck in finding love or even real affection what so ever...i mean with out a catch that is........so yeah......LIFE SUCKS....only point im really trying to make in this STUPID FUCKING ENTRY!
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| I'm fine |
[07 Jul 2005|12:04am] |
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dashboard confessional |
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Ok so a certain somebody has made me feel like it is a bit pethetic having this livejournal. It's just have no more close friends to talk to anymore....absoultly no one...and I am fine with that. I have given up on friendships really....close ones....become close to someone makes things harder when you or they leave....I don't have any room left for heartache. I really am fine with just being here in my house...I'm not ganna amount to much anyways...hell I can't even get and keep a boyfriend so marraige isn't looking good in my future...i will probably just live with my parents until i die in some freak accident which i prey for these days. Believe it or not...i am absoultly fine with it. I'm kinda just drifting back into my loner stage i guess...haveing little to no friends....not being able to feel comfortable in large groups of people...especially when I have absoultly no one close to me there....I guess its just better for me to be home all the time now...safer and just better. I don't want new friends. I fine with the memories i have of my old ones.
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| A taste of my Passionate life |
[06 Jul 2005|12:07am] |
mswoodisfly (11:29:04 PM): SIXTEEN
mswoodisfly (11:29:06 PM): im a child.
mswoodisfly (11:29:20 PM): if we have sex then, it will be illegal BABBYY.
Insanelovekitten (11:29:23 PM): oh gosh....i could get introuble for being in love with you morgan
mswoodisfly (11:29:54 PM): i can't hide my feeling for you ANYMORE alyse, it's killing me
Insanelovekitten (11:30:20 PM): TELL ME HOW YOU FEEL MORGAN TELL ME!
Insanelovekitten (11:30:28 PM): i have to know now before its to late and im....old....
mswoodisfly (11:30:37 PM): ok, wel...
mswoodisfly (11:30:51 PM): it started one day when i saw you walking with jacob
mswoodisfly (11:31:19 PM): he and i started walking and i looked back as you walked behind us.. it was love at first site.
mswoodisfly (11:31:24 PM): then .... i never saw you again
mswoodisfly (11:31:27 PM): until! the fair
mswoodisfly (11:31:38 PM): i saw you, with no panties.
Insanelovekitten (11:31:44 PM): :-[
mswoodisfly (11:31:47 PM): and all those old feelings came back.
Insanelovekitten (11:32:19 PM): Oh gosh...
mswoodisfly (11:32:32 PM): i .. i'm in love with you.
mswoodisfly (11:32:37 PM): but, it's more than that.
Insanelovekitten (11:32:47 PM): how much more
mswoodisfly (11:33:53 PM): that... i want to cuddle with you for... dare i say.. days at a time
mswoodisfly (11:34:01 PM): and i want to have sex with you, now.
Insanelovekitten (11:34:43 PM): I have never cuddled with a girl or had girl sex....MORGAN you are my frist love!!!!...I think its beautiful!
Insanelovekitten (11:34:54 PM): whatever are we going to do when it becomes....illegal
mswoodisfly (11:35:04 PM): we shall hide it.
mswoodisfly (11:35:27 PM): if you went to jail because of our love for one another, i don't know what i would do.
Insanelovekitten (11:35:42 PM): I WOULD DO IT FOR YOU BABY!
Insanelovekitten (11:35:55 PM): no one could keep us apart!!!
mswoodisfly (11:36:09 PM): no ONE!
mswoodisfly (11:36:24 PM): we have 7 months left.
mswoodisfly (11:36:29 PM): we better make the most out of it.
Insanelovekitten (11:36:32 PM): and ten days!
mswoodisfly (11:36:45 PM): and those.. wonderful.. long ten days.
Insanelovekitten (11:37:09 PM): gosh you make my heart skipp a beat and my tummy fill with butterflies!
mswoodisfly (11:37:30 PM): i feel as if... im riding a pony.
mswoodisfly (11:37:34 PM): a big pony of.. lvoe.
Insanelovekitten (11:38:05 PM): ...what if this is just summer love...and you leave me when the summer ends?
mswoodisfly (11:39:05 PM): nneevvverr! what if you do?
Insanelovekitten (11:39:11 PM): and it turns out like grease where you act all...stright in front of me at school
mswoodisfly (11:39:15 PM): NO!
Insanelovekitten (11:39:15 PM): I WOULD NEVER!
mswoodisfly (11:39:21 PM): im no danny.
Insanelovekitten (11:39:35 PM): well then im no sandy!
mswoodisfly (11:39:58 PM): alyse, my heart is yours.
Insanelovekitten (11:40:59 PM): I willl keep it forever morgan because you are the only one for me!
Insanelovekitten (11:41:47 PM): one day morgan...they will make a movie of our love
mswoodisfly (11:41:54 PM): oh... i hope.
mswoodisfly (11:41:58 PM): i can only dream
mswoodisfly (11:42:11 PM): a movie capturing all the love we have for one another would be impossible though
Insanelovekitten (11:42:35 PM): i do believe it is true...but they will try their best
Insanelovekitten (11:43:31 PM): you know that day you were at the oasis...
Insanelovekitten (11:43:51 PM): I was jealous of the boy who hated gay people....
Insanelovekitten (11:46:22 PM): oh gosh...i have caused you to cheat....
Insanelovekitten (11:46:30 PM): poor laura....
mswoodisfly (11:47:56 PM): i cheated.
mswoodisfly (11:47:59 PM): You were jealous?
mswoodisfly (11:48:00 PM): noooo.
mswoodisfly (11:48:04 PM): no,you cant be
Insanelovekitten (11:48:23 PM): he was a boy and he was with my lover!
mswoodisfly (11:48:50 PM): we made out =X
Insanelovekitten (11:48:54 PM): ...really?
mswoodisfly (11:49:02 PM): ew, no. He has a penis.
Insanelovekitten (11:49:13 PM): ....gosh you almost broke my heart...
mswoodisfly (11:50:09 PM): wait, do you have apenis??
Insanelovekitten (11:50:50 PM): OH GOSH HELL NO!
Insanelovekitten (11:50:52 PM): GROSS!
mswoodisfly (11:51:02 PM): oh thank jesus
mswoodisfly (11:51:12 PM): if you did..... i .. i dont know what id do.
Insanelovekitten (11:51:17 PM): xxsuchxaxlushxx (11:50:20 PM): You divorce me because I had many wives. now you become my wifes mistress. WHAT HAS THIS WORLD COME TO. =xxxx
mswoodisfly (11:51:39 PM): youmade me do this
mswoodisfly (11:51:46 PM): dnceNAKEDsoiwin (11:52:32 PM): if only you sexed me like alyse doens, things woul dbe differnt
Insanelovekitten (11:52:16 PM): =(((( oh goodness...
mswoodisfly (11:52:26 PM): idnceNAKEDsoiwin (11:54:01 PM): your sex is like penis , and ew.
mswoodisfly (11:52:38 PM): what are we goign to do?
Insanelovekitten (11:53:31 PM): we have broken her heart...
mswoodisfly (11:54:01 PM): but,i love you.
Insanelovekitten (11:55:58 PM): I love you...also....but we have to fix what we have done...for lauras sake....
mswoodisfly (11:56:43 PM): yes, i agree. I cant go on like this with her so upset. Plus it would ruin the chances of asking her to join us in sex.
Insanelovekitten (11:57:24 PM): yes...this im afraid...is true...
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| HoW sweet!! |
[27 Jun 2005|12:48pm] |
 Dan...in Iraq...I just thought it was a sweet picture.
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| Gosh the things I've done... |
[22 Jun 2005|08:58pm] |
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snow patrol |
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I thought it was interesting....
(x) smoked a cigarette
(x) smoked a cigar
(x) made out with a member of the same sex
(_) crashed a friend's car
(x) stolen a car
(x) been in love
(x) been dumped
(x) shoplifted
(_) been fired
(x) been in a fist fight
(x) snuck out of my parent's house
(x) had feelings for someone who didnt have them back
(_) been arrested
(x) made out with a stranger
(_) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend *Sometimes its better that way*
(_) had a crush on a teacher *ooh yeah*
(x) skipped school
(_) seen someone die
(_) been to Canada
(_) been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane
(_) purposely set a part of myself on fire
(x) eaten Sushi
(x) taken painkillers
(x) love someone or miss someone right now
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by **all the time*
(x) made a snow angel
(X) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping * ooh yeah*
(x)played dress up
(x) jumped into a pile of leaves
(_) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school
(_) used a fake id
(x) watched the sun set
(_) felt an earthquake
(x) touched a snake
(x) been tickled
(x) been robbed
(_) robbed someone
(x) been misunderstood
(x) pet a reindeer/goat *reindeer are soo cute and so are goats =)*
(x) won a contest
(x) been suspended from school
(x) had detention
(x) been in a car accident
(_) had braces
(x) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
(x) danced in the moonlight *we were crazy naked little children =)*
(x) hated the way you look
(x) witnessed a crime
(x) been obsessed with post-it notes *haha omg this is so me and Laurakins*
(x) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost *oh gosh so many times its scarry*
(_) been to the opposite side of the country
(x) swam in the ocean
(x) played cops and robbers*with my brother we were so cute then*
(x) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
(x) sung karaoke*gosh my family loves karaoke...and i just go alone with it haha*
(x) paid for a meal with only coins
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls
(x) laughed til some kind of beverage came out of your nose *it burns*
(x) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(_) kissed in the rain *:( no*
(x) written a letter to Santa Claus
(_) been kissed under a mistletoe*=( no again*
(x) watched the sun set with someone you care about
(x) blown bubbles
(x) made a bonfire on the beach
(x) gone rollerskating
( ) had a wish come true *still waiting*
(x) ate dog/cat food *well doggie treats...my brother use to make me eat milkbones =\*
(x) told a complete stranger you loved/hated them
(x) sang in the shower
(x) have a little black dress
(x) glued your hand to something
(_) got your tongue stuck to a flag pole *not a flag pole anyways*
(x) kissed a fish
(x) worn the opposite sexes clothes
(x) been a cheerleader *haha for halloween*
(x) sat on a roof top
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
(_) done a one-handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours * =( with Josh...I miss it...*
(x) stayed up all night
(_) didn't take a shower for a week
(x) pick and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
(x) had a tree house *these last three make me miss my mamaw*
(x) are scared to watch scary movies alone
(x) believe in ghosts
(_) have more then 30 pairs of shoes
(x) worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
(_) gone streaking
(x) played ding-dong-ditch *it was a thrill...but I felt bad haha*
(x) played chicken fight *many many times...me and Tink are the unbeatable chickens! even against eachother =\*
(x) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on *omg it sucked!!! My pants were really heavy and I sank to the bottom haha...it was the weekend i tripped on shrooms =\*
(x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
(_) broken a bone
(x) been easily amused
(x) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried *gosh I miss those laughs...and the ones who made me laugh =(*
(x) cried so hard you laughed *only when i get hurt...and it was funny haha*
(x) mooned/flashed someone
(x) had someone moon/flash you
(x) cheated on a test
(x) forgotten someone's name *haha alllll the time*
(x) slept naked
(x) French braided someones hair
(x) gone skinny dipping in a pool
(x) been kicked out of your house *I came back and we made up =)*
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[22 Jun 2005|06:42pm] |
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So yeah how has everyone been? I'll ask like I care...ok so I do care...I'll ask as if I will get an answer knowing I won't. You know what I hate....I hate how everyone seems to disappear and then all of a sudden evvveryone calls/talks to you online haha all on the same day oh and wants to do something on that day...and are all like you never call me and blah blah blah...I've been home....so then I feel like shit when I have plans with whoever it was that called me or talked to me first and everyone else wants me too....but...only on that day....that day incase you all were wondering was yesturday...and now today...where is everyone....I just do nottt know...I am lonely and at home where fokes can call me...but I'm sure they won't....the point of this story is: I have accepted my life. I do not care about anything anymore. I just am and things just are. I am fine with all of this. I am just ganna be like yeah if it's mean to be it will happen =) Positivness really does work =\
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| I should die. It would be fun. |
[18 Jun 2005|08:42pm] |
I hate my life.
End of StoRy.
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| HiDe the ReeFeR in the JanitOrs CloseT |
[15 Jun 2005|09:08pm] |
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a bit chillish |
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99 Red Balloons...cuz thats how i roll baby |
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gosh that Medicinal weed is crazzzy stuff...makes old people all cute and funnie! =)
sure did have another fun filled day at the H-O-s-P-I-T-A-L1 warning to the ladies and a few of the boys do not wear a skirt in those places. I frozed my buns off from seven am to eight pm today =\
Pink floyd! Gosh thats Hawt...Floyd sure sounds like the name of my future husband who is destine to be a fat plumber with on H-A-W-T crack!
Hmmmm my Mr. Brightside sure is one lame idiot =\
I went to the fair monday night! Yay for me! Miss Meghan and I were way to glam for our own good HaHa...cuz gee wiz did I get all the fellas...Maybe the gay ones =) I met a new friend go me! I finally met that Morgan chick everyone seems to know...gee wiz is she RaD! I got hit on by a crazy carnie gosh was that fun! I now know what Jacob would look like with blue lipstick and gee wiz is that hott haha OH GOSH! Never wear a skirt and no panties to the fair! Biggest mistake evvver! Watch out for guys named dru and big stuffed frogs because goodness are they two rad cookies!
Ok well I am sick, tired, and maybe even delusional so I must go now!
♥ Can'T touch THIS Southern GirL ♥
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[13 Jun 2005|03:20pm] |
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 PeachiE LikE |
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EarLy SunSets OveR MonRoeviLLe -My CheMicaL RomAncE |
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I have once again become a camera whoreee.....gawsh its great! I love my animation shop program thingiemabobbie!!!!!!!!!!! I think I will even make this public again =)
♥ Can'T touch THIS Southern GirL ♥
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| ErrrrGrrr |
[18 May 2005|08:49am] |
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deathcab,pinback,coheed&cambria,elliottsmith,straylightrun |
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My computer is so fucked!...I can't get on AIM or internet explorer or MSN explorer...its just shittyish! I can't do anything...and all we get is tons and tons of popups...i don't understand how we get popups but it won't even let me open internet explorer...its so erring!
so yeah I'm at my mothers school right now. Its and elemtry skool and they have no web blocking at all!!! wtf!!! They also have speakers lol most of our computers didn't even have speakers haha!
Is everyone allergic to dust...I mean I would guess so. I sure as hell amm I'm all red and sneezy and shit right now...errrr...stoopid dust!
I am also covered in scratches from Mr. Chubbs...Josh things I get off on it...sick little penis face!! I don't they hurt! I look cute in a sick freak kinda way haha!
But all I really want to say is...SAVE THE PENGUINS!!!! All you dirty little polluters are killing my babies!!! Its causing glooobal warming and guess who is one of the anmials that gets hurt....the oh so fucking amazing PENGUIN!!! They are the true sex! so stop hurting them!! K just needed to get that out because they areee my love!
I am growing fond of my hair. I hated it for the lonnngest while but now its growin on me. It's long now. I no longer have my butch hair haha. I ammm soooo tired of people saying I dye my damn hair blonde. No i dye it pink and purple and red and brown...not black yet...everything cept my stoopid natural blonde. I have dyed it in awhile though. Color doesn't hold well in my hair it all washes out. I do have dark roots though but thats natural. My roots have always been dark and then when they grow out that lighten up...you want proof look at my baby pictures!!! I didn't start dying my hair until i was like 12ish maybe 13...so explain the dark roots at age three people!! anyhoo yeah...so umm I'm over that one haha.
So I'm listening to this Indie Rawk station its rad...to me anyways cuz i like indie fo sho lol. Goodness Monday night was sooo funnn. Me and Mike sooo Raved in Rae Raes room. we put in come alice dj and dj irean *sp?* and it was sooo much fun. I hate having guys stare at me while I do it but I mostly ignored Mark and had fun with mike cuz I haven't hung out with him since they moved. Him and his boyfriend came over and saw with us.
We had fun swimmin monday too. It was such a sausage fest in that pool me and laura with a bunch of penis's eewww its gross now that I think about it. We played tag and Marko polo which is shitty cuz everyone knows I suuuck at those games so they gang up on me and my ass gets it evvverytime! so then they fuck with me while my eyes are closed...but I have to be the good sport and keep my eyes closed lol...its fun but I'm all like grr errr pick on someone elllseee. They only hit me with the noodles while my eyes are closed...no one else! haha its fun as hell though.
Sorry if this is a bunch of Random bullshit I am really bored and I'm tryin to figure out something to do so yeah I'm just talkin. Luck your not on the phone with me haha cuz then you would have to hear me talk bout all this stuffs.
I talked to Joshie on the phone last night. At home...it made me happy. I love talkin to him at my house cuz then we actually kinda get to talk. I didn't get any sleep last night because of my freakin kitten...he wanted to play alll night. I mean there would be times where he would be sweet come up and give me kitten kisses which is sooo cute and cuddle with me for a little bit...but then he would go at it again making sure to wake my ass up...err hes such a cute little fucker!
Hmm so yeah Just wonderin...who all would miss me if I left and went to Mi. to live with Josh. Rae said she would. Alyson was kinda just mad at me about it. Mike said he would. I really don't think that many people would miss me much though. Not really...I think they would just say they would but I hardly see anyone as it is... =\ well Ima go kick it with my indie rawk and stuff....later yall
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[08 May 2005|05:07pm] |
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death cab yay! |
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xchicksonspeedx's journal
hmm hes cute
I love him